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Chip the glasses and crack the plates

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Chip the glasses and crack the plates is a poem found within the chapter "An Unexpected Party" of The Hobbit.


On the day of the unexpected party in Bilbo Baggins' home the 13 dwarves and Gandalf arrived at tea time. After they were fed, Bilbo began to clear away the plates and glasses but when Thorin declared, "Now to clear up!" all of the other dwarves jumped up, piled all the dishes most precariously, and carried them into the kitchen. Bilbo nearly squeaked with fright, believing that his dishes might be ruined. The amused dwarves sang this song that described all of the kitchen horrors that seemed about to happen, but of course none of them did.[1]


Chip the glasses and crack the plates!
Blunt the knives and bend the forks!
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates—
Smash the bottles and burn the corks!

Cut the cloth and tread on the fat!
Pour the milk on the pantry floor!
Leave the bones on the bedroom mat!
Splash the wine on every door!

Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl;
Pound them up with a thumping pole;
And when you’ve finished if any are whole,
Send them down the hall to roll!

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!
So, carefully! carefully with the plates!

See also


  1. J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit, "An Unexpected Party"