That's What Bilbo Baggins Hates

That's What Bilbo Baggins Hates is a song from the 1977 adaptation of The Hobbit, the lyrics are based on the poem from the book. The lyrics were adapted by Jules Bass and the music by Maury Laws. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey features a similar adaptation of the poem.

Lyrics

Blunt the knives and bend the forks!
Smash the bottles and burn the corks!
Chip the glasses and crack the plates!
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates -

Cut the cloth and tread the fat!
Leave the bones on the bedroom mat!
Pour the milk on the pantry floor!
Splash the wine on every door!

Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl;
Pound them up with a thumping pole;
And when you've finished, if any are whole,
Send them down the hall to roll!

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!
So, carefully! Carefully with the plates!