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User talk:Narfil Palùrfalas/Fanfictions/Shadow over Westernesse

Good stuff! I want to read more. More Númenor!

Minor notes: Andúnië is spelled like that, with an accent over the "u". Also, there's a typo; it says "a dusty old room will many shelves of books" at the beginning; this should be "with many...", I imagine. Your writing style here is quite good, although I notice that you tend to repeat words in the same sentence fairly often: "It was a small room, and on one end opposite the oaken door was a small table...". Your writing will be more effective if you minimize this.

Also, you might want to know that the version of the Akallabêth as printed in the published Silmarillion says that the Faithful were forced to move east near Rómenna in the time of Ar-Gimilzôr the twenty-third King, which would have been many years before the date of your story. Of course, you're equally free to go by the alternative version printed in Peoples of Middle-earth in which it is Ar-Pharazôn who strips the Elf-friends of their wealth and makes them migrate there. This is quite probably more effective story material, but I merely wanted to make you aware of the way it is handled in The Silmarillion. I know you are very concerned about authenticity. —Tar-Telperien 04:29, 19 January 2007 (EST)

Thanks for your comments. Yes, I had been going off of the information in The Peoples of Middle-earth. I'll look up the information right away. I hadn't noticed the typo, and I'll fix that. --Narfil Palùrfalas 09:24, 19 January 2007 (EST)