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:It's a great chunk you've typed up, but I do agree that much of it could be shortened.  We don't need a fast-paced action film here, but we don't want to bore the audience either while.  A lot of what I wrote will similarly be sandpapered.  Still, it's best to write as much as possible, see what we have, and then break it down from there. --[[User:Narfil Palùrfalas|Narfil]] 15:49, 4 September 2008 (UTC)
 
:It's a great chunk you've typed up, but I do agree that much of it could be shortened.  We don't need a fast-paced action film here, but we don't want to bore the audience either while.  A lot of what I wrote will similarly be sandpapered.  Still, it's best to write as much as possible, see what we have, and then break it down from there. --[[User:Narfil Palùrfalas|Narfil]] 15:49, 4 September 2008 (UTC)
 
::I've read and thought about your additions, and I have a few suggestions.
 
 
# Maeglin's story could be shown more visually in Morgoth's dungeons.  Morgoth prods Maeglin's mind, and flashes of his dark history show.  Perhaps Morgoth repeats some of the words of SPY8.  That would cut down greatly on space.
 
# I really like the way you had Maeglin searching for more ore, and how Maeglin decided to venture past the King's boundaries (although I think the word ''leaguer'' is used incorrectly).
 
# You may disagree, but I feel that, with the dream, there is no need to further emphasize Maeglin's abiding (and evil) passion for Idril.  Subtlety goes a long way on film, and a few glances here and there with appropriate cinematography can do the trick more quickly and efficiently.
 
# Although it could do with some revision, I like the way you presented the dream.
 
# I personally feel that Salgant's conversation with Maeglin is unnecessary.  Perhaps Maeglin could start working after his episode with Morgoth, and there Salgant is introduced in some shape or form.  The content in this discussion ould probably be spread out in other scenes to condense it.
 
 
::I hope you don't mind if I do a little editing.  I'll wait for a response from you, though, before I jump right in. --[[User:Narfil Palùrfalas|Narfil]] 16:11, 4 September 2008 (UTC)
 
  
 
==Lords of Gondolin==
 
==Lords of Gondolin==

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